Using affirmations to transform our inner conversations is most definitely one of the easiest ways to get the job done, because whether we know it not, or want to admit it or not, we do have inner conversations going on in our minds all day long. About ourselves, about other people, and about the world at large. So, if I affirm consciously, I simply choose my thoughts. Personally, I have fully transformed my self-concept through the use of affirmations to help me create a new story about myself.
However, over time, I’ve realized that many people are using affirmations in such was way that not only doesn’t help them at all, but they manage to turn their affirmations against themselves. So they feel ‘bad’ about affirmations.
Why is this the case and what can you do about it, if this is you? This is what we are going to discuss in this article. So, put your seat belt on, and be ready to understand what affirmations are like never before.
Why Are You Using Affirmations?
I think that the most important thing to understand about affirmations it’s that we are not using affirmations to change other people and events outside of us, but to change the self. If you are still using affirmations to get something or someone while remaining in the state of lacking that something or someone, you have probably noticed that your affirmations haven’t changed anything. Maybe they even make you feel worse.
Every time someone asks me about what they should affirm to manifest this or that, I already know that they are going to use their affirmations the wrong way. And the reason I know it’s because if their affirmations came from the right place, they would know exactly what to affirm.
Your affirmations are simply a declaration of your wish fulfilled. If you don’t know what your wish fulfilled sounds like, it’s because you don’t FEEL it real. And if you do not feel it real, you don’t know what to affirm. Therefore, you ask someone else to formulate it for you.
Don’t try to figure out what’s the exact phrasing to manifest your desire. First, feel how it would feel to have it, and the words will follow naturally. That’s how you find your perfect affirmations that will become your inner conversations.
When you are using affirmations without doing inner work in parallel, that’s when the affirmations become robotic, useless phrases that you repeat without any conviction and with the wrong intention, which we’re going to discuss below.
Remember, you are using affirmations to change you from within, you’re not using affirmations to get things.
When Affirmations Don’t Work
You do not command things to appear by your words or loud affirmations. Such vain repetition is more often than not confirmation of the opposite. – At Your Command – Neville Goddard
If you are using affirmations to “get” something outside of you or to “force” yourself to believe, let me tell you right now that you are wasting your time. You cannot force anything and there is nothing to get outside of you. If you’ve been affirming from that state, this is why you have not progressed with your affirmations. This is when people come to me saying that they’ve been affirming for months and months with very little to no results.
If you are saying I am rich, I am rich, while being in a state of lack, it won’t work for you. If anything, it could make you feel even more aware of the fact that you are NOT. Do people who are rich say, I am rich, I am rich all day long? No, they don’t. However, they FEEL rich, they KNOW that they are rich.
Let’s take whatever you are right now, do not try to convince yourself that you are THAT by saying that you are? If you are an accountant, do you have to affirm, I am an accountant all day long? If you are married, do you have to affirm that you are? If you are healthy, do you affirm all day that you are?
This is what Neville was talking about in his quote above. If you are affirming anything from a place of NOT having it, more often than not, it’s only going to confirm that you are not that which you’re affirming.
If you’ve been affirming in such a way with no results until now, stop right now, because you’re doing more harm than good.
Does that mean that you shouldn’t use affirmations to become what you want to become? No, it doesn’t mean that, but this is where you need to use affirmations the “correct” way. Because, yes, there is a way to overcome this issue, so you can use affirmations that are going to work amazingly well for you, rather than against you.
What to Do Before You Affirm?
There is no one to change but self; that self is simply your awareness, your consciousness and the world in which it lives is determined by the concept you hold of self. It is to consciousness that we must turn as to the only reality. For there is no clear conception of the origin of phenomena except that consciousness is all and all is consciousness. – Neville Goddard
When we have a desire, it’s because our desire is making us feel a certain way, or we know that it will make us feel a certain way. On the other hand, we know what we don’t want because it makes us feel bad, and we don’t want that feeling anymore. In other words, we want to FEEL GOOD. Yet, how often do I hear people saying that their affirmations, actually, make them feel bad, nervous, or anxious? I’ve heard that many times.
Your affirmations make you feel bad when you are repeating statements, out loud or in your mind, from an opposite feeling/state. You are single and you feel the lack of your SP all day long, you keep thinking of them over there, far, far away, not caring about you while affirming that they love and want you, trying to force your desire to appear.
Or you are feeling poor, you’re anxious about your upcoming bills, you keep thinking about lack of money most of the day, but you are affirming I am wealthy, money comes to me easily in the “hope” of making money appear in your life. That’s when affirmations feel bad.
The best way to know if your affirmations work or not is to observe your recurrent beliefs and feelings. Have they changed? Do they agree with your affirmations? If not, then you are using affirmations in vain, as Neville said.
However, there is a way to use affirmations to work for you.
Use affirmations to plant a seed. When you plant a seed in the soil, you do not “try” to force that seed to grow. You can’t, anyway. You plant it and you let it grow.
No matter what you do to change and improve your self-concept, remember that all your desires, no matter how outside of you they appear to be, are coming from you and are already yours. The desire is coming from you, the feeling is coming from you, the lack is coming from you, the love or lack thereof is coming from you. It’s ALL coming from you, and it’s all you. That’s why there is nothing to change but self.
If you have a desire, any desire, you already know what it FEELS to have it because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t have the desire in the first place. So, first and foremost, before you affirm anything, and before you visualize anything, feel how it feels to have your desire. Do not judge anything, just feel what it feels to be or have what you desire to be or have.
Then, and only then, affirm it to reinforce the feeling. To fully plant that seed, and to water the seed until it’s grown.
How to Use Affirmations to Work for You?
Do not try to use affirmations from an opposite state, because all you will be creating from that is pure frustration. Affirm as you’re planting a seed, with the intention that if you plant a seed it will grow. And you plant it in a good soil by working on your feelings along with it.
No matter what you do, do not ‘try’ to convince yourself with your affirmations, it never works. Even if you have not quite managed to feel the feeling of having your desire, it’s not an affirmation that’s going to convince you. And this is the biggest mistake that I see a lot of people make.
When you affirm, do not affirm while forcing anything or believing what you are affirming right away. More often than not, you won’t believe an affirmation that’s in total opposition to what you’ve been believing for years and decades. What matters when affirming is the intention with which you’re using your chosen affirmations.
If I use an affirmation to create a new belief, I intend that the moment I affirm I am planting a seed. From that moment something it’s taking effect. But I’m not forcing anything, I intend, which is completely different. And each day, I water my seed by saying my affirmations to replace the old unwanted thoughts. But, again, I do not try to force myself to believe it. I’m just planting and cultivating my seed. When you plant a physical seed in the soil, you know that it’s not going to grow overnight because you know that the seed has to take root first, and then it will sprout.
It’s the exact same thing with affirmations. You affirm with the intention to plant a new seed in your mind, with the knowledge that eventually it will sprout, but you do not try to FORCE anything, because since there’s no way you CAN force anything, you would only create resistance against your own affirmations. Which is the issue that I see a lot of people have, thus my decision to address it on all my platforms this week, here, my podcast, and my video.
And, please, don’t use affirmations to change something or someone outside of you. Your affirmations NEVER change anything out there, your affirmations are meant to change YOU and you only, because they become your new thoughts.
When used correctly, affirmations are replacing your unwanted and destructive thoughts. And since thoughts manifest in your physical world because they are part of your consciousness, your thoughts become your reality.
Affirmations Should be Fun
Affirmations should be fun, not a chore, not a must-do, or else. None of that. If your affirmations don’t make you feel good, stop what you’re doing and start over from the right intention, as explained in this article.
Check your feelings and go to the source of those feelings. If you’re feeling bad it’s because you’re dwelling in a state of resistance, the unwanted. But the moment you allow yourself to feel what it feels to have your desire, then the feeling will become an evidence.
If you affirm that you are or have your desire from a state of fear that tells you otherwise, then affirmations become a chore and even painful. Instead, calm down and plant your seed, slowly but surely, while you allow yourself to feel the feeling of being and having your desire. Then use your affirmations with a smile on your face. Affirm with detachment, knowing that your seed has to grow because it’s law.
When you approach affirmations in such a way, you’ll be surprised at how quick and easy your affirmations will reflect in your physical world.